My name is Tiffany and I am 22 years old. I am happily married and the mother of two wonderful children. My husband Levi and I meet working for the Maricopa County Sheriffs Office. Fast forward about 1 1/2 years when we had our first child, Mackenzie Lee, I was working in Dispatch and he was still working for the county. My dear husband decided when our daughter was about 5 months that he wanted another baby. Our daughter was 15 months old when our second baby was born. Thomas Levi was happy and healthy. Begrudgingly, 6th months after his birth, I agreed with my husband that our family was complete. ....
…. Levi had talked about it since I’ve known him. I should have seen it coming...subconsciously I knew. Work was getting worse and worse at the county and he was constantly complaining about his superiors. And finally it came during a very heated argument, it was an accident but I knew it was time “well …” I said, “why don’t you just quit and join the ARMY.” There it was on the table, again. We hadn’t brought it up since before we found out we were pregnant the first time. He just looked at me bewildered. “Really?” was all he could muster. That was around Memorial Day. Nothing else was said until early July. I was late for work and he had just come home. He was changing my tire when he told me “I’m talking to a recruiter. I could leave as early as next month. Kris is joining with me.” And there it was. It was done then and I knew it. My life was forever going to be changed; I was in essence going to be a single parent. I knew he would be gone…..a lot. I was never an Army kid but I had small enough of an idea what was coming. After a series of visits with the recruiter (don’t trust them ever, no matter how cute they are holding your 7 month old or how many happy meals they give your two year old), and with our friends Kris and Angela, the date was set. August 13th 2008 was their enlistment date. ....
I have always respected men and women of the uniform and I know that their service to us will never be a repayable service. But let me be the first to say that their families never, no matter how many nice thing people do, get the credit they deserve. That first day watching Levi walk away from the Military Entrance Processing Station I felt like my whole world was falling just out of reach. I broke down right there in a parking lot holding my toddler tighter then ever. Poor kid. I learned three very important lessons that day. First being in the ARMY you will learn to always hurry up, no matter what, always hurry up. Although this is typically so you are the first in line to wait, and wait, and wait; you still ALWAYS hurry up. Second lesson I learned that day I learned at the advice of a very wise check in lady. whom I am sure has watched thousands of wives and moms break down at MEPS, and also from very irrational mother. Her son left 3 hours before my husband, he was bawling as he walked out the door while she sat with tears gushing from her eyes. The check in lady looked at me, I know I had to be staring. She smiled and gave me a hug, and as she did this she told me, “ If I have learned anything working this counter it has to be to never ever cry in front of a solider. Never. It just makes it harder for them to go. What they are doing isn’t easy either.” And the last lesson I learned that day from MacKenzie. It’s much simpler to follow then the others. It has become my motto for our deployments and extended “See You Later” trips. DON’T SQUEEZE YOUR TODDLER WHEN YOU BREAK DOWN, THEY START CRYING TOO.....
Other experiences I faced while he was in Basic Combat Training and Advanced Individual Training included going to Luke Air Force Base, once again with just a toddler in tow. Thank God for wonderful Grandparents. I can’t imagine some of these tasks with both kids. Going to Luke seemed like a simple enough task, make appointment, show up with paper, hurry up to wait, wait in the waiting room, take picture, and walk out with ID card. One problem, have you ever tried to get onto a military base with out a military ID? Try explaining to the guard that the whole reason you are there is to get a military ID that you have NEVER had issued. After about 30 minutes and a very thorough search of my vehicle and the diaper bag we were in the gates. Not that that wasn’t intimidating enough I had to try working my way through base parking lots, streets and buildings. Everything was still very foreign and everywhere I looked there was a uniform of some sort. Are you suppose to call them Sir or Ma’am or do you just ignore them or hold the door open. Its funny what you can let your self believe when your nervous. I have been raised around Cops my whole life, I know that behind all uniforms, whatever it is, there is just a normal person with a family too, but sometimes I still forget. After watching a female solider trip while trying to drag her unwilling 6 year old to the car I learned my fourth lesson… They are normal behind the uniform... somewhere along the way their kids probably puked on them too. ....
About three weeks into Levi’s AIT he sent me a sticker for my car. It says “Army Wife” in very pretty writing. I proudly display this on my SUV window along with my Yellow Ribbons. I was in McDonalds when a elderly man asked me if that was my vehicle. I said yes as I paid for my meal. All I was thinking was that this old man just hit my car and probably was going to cause my insurance rates to go up. Suddenly he lashed out at me and said “So you’re the one married to a baby killer.” It took a minute to register in my head what just happened. I wanted to curse him with every bad word I have ever heard and tell him to go you know where. Instead when he finished ordering his meal I reached in front of him and handed the cashier enough money to pay for his meal and told him to enjoy his day and freedoms that allow him to say things like that to women like me. With the manager and casher and bystanders staring I walked to my car yogurt and French fries in hand. “Your husband does brave things every day with out crying, you can make to the car and out of the parking lot with out crying” is what I kept repeating to myself. And I did, and actually I made it all the way to my mom’s office with out shedding a tear. In fact I didn’t ever cry about it. I was more mad then anything. I was mad that my husband didn’t even have the right to call him self a Solider yet and this man had the gull to treat me like that. The emotions changed all day. I came to the conclusion that people like this don’t matter to me. If they don’t approve that’s their right. My husband is doing something for his country that makes him proud, that’s his right. I still have my stickers on my vehicle. You couldn’t pay me to take them down. As for others like this man, I’ll take it 100 times if I have to in order to show my support. My fifth lesson happened at McDonalds that day. Be brave no matter what, look fear in the eyes with a smile on your face. ....
After very few phone calls, and 5 very long months graduation day came. It was so neat to get to see the fruits of his labor. Levi lost 60 pounds in just a few months. He looked amazing and his drill sergeants are now calling him “ what’s left of Erler” because he looked so different. I can’t even begin to explain what you feel when you see them in there uniforms getting awards. And to hear the speaker say “Dismissed”, see the relief in their eyes and watch your kids running to “Papa” is so overwhelming. Levi came home with us for 2 short weeks right after that. He was lucky enough to get Home Town Recruiting before leaving to South Korea. My sixth lesson was learned while he was at home. Don’t get used to having help with screaming, leg flailing babies. Soldiers leave soon. Don’t adjust. Just Don’t. ....
Taking him to the airport for our fist “Unaccompanied Tour for Duty” was easier then I had expected it to be. For my daughter in the back seat we were calling this, another “See you later” trip. There are no goodbyes, only see you laters, in our family. Loading the kids in the two-kid-stroller we both laughed a few bittersweet laughs about a few things that had happened in the 2 short weeks he had been with us. In the parking lot of the airport it was becoming more of a reality that this was it for a year. While sitting eating the most soothing bland sandwiches our stomachs could handle we talk about anything we could come up with other then the time apart from each other we were facing. While watching my husband, my solider and the father of my children kiss them goodbye, it was all I could do not to cry. But due to lesson number two I did not cry, at least not until he couldn’t see me anymore. I watched him crying as he held our son who barely knows his father and as he kissed his little princess I learned my seventh lesson. Grown men really do cry, no matter how tough they are all it takes are a couple little people and a really long “see you later” trip. We said our I love yous, be carefuls and call mes and me and the kiddos waved as he walked out of sight. And because of lesson number three I’m fairly sure our daughter and son were both grateful for the two-kid stroller. ....
Kids loaded into the car, stroller packed in the back of my “army wife” sticker bearing SUV, all I could do was sit there. I didn’t move the car or turn on the radio, the only noise to be heard was a bottle and sippy being sucked by two beautiful innocent babies. I didn’t cry in the car. I just sort of sat there and took it all in. It is a day I will never forget. I know there is going to be time when I look back at that moment as bittersweet, it will be a memory I’m sure I will share with my children and hopefully their children. As I sat in the parking garage of Terminal Four on the west side, level 5, elevator facing parking space I learned my Eight lesson. I am an Army Wife I can handle what ever comes at me. ....
I know I have many more lessons in front of me…. But because of lesson number eight I know what ever the lessons are , whatever I am faced with, wherever my husband goes, and wherever this lifestyle takes us, I am an Army Wife and I can handle whatever comes at me.
The boys Levi and Kris, Christmas leave prior to graduation.
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